Could it be? Could Bottle Service Boulevard be getting a facelift?

Behemoth West-Side club Crobar will be shutting, renovating and reopenin g on Saturday, February 17th, as larger-than-life multi-purpose Studio Mezmor.   Marketing Directors John Perez and Jen Schiffer tell us the 10,000-square-foot club takes its name from the building’s original tenant, Colonel Francis Messmore, who used the space as a massive warehouse and manufacturing plant to design and store everything from theater props, to movie sets, to animatronic dinosaurs. 

Some of the highlights we can expect from the makeover:

- They're knocking down the Reed Room.  Grab an ornamental phallic shaft to add to your bedroom décor, while you can.

-  New VIP sections are opening on the mezzanine and ground levels (Crobar lost the Prop Room to Pink Elephant last year).  This time, the VIP will be in full view, instead of closeted in a sweaty Finnish sauna.

-  Two entrances will be put in place of the current tunnel that necessitates a Purell body bath once you find your way to the light.

-  They’re pushing back the main-room bar towards the wall, so waiting patrons don't have to tango/tussle/tickle waiting bar folk as they enter/leave the space.

-  The pillars on the mezzanine will be knocked down to accommodate approximately 26 more mini-skirted Jersey girls to hover over the bottle buckets.

- Did you know about the private restrooms?  No?  So you won't miss them when they tear them down.

Construction won't begin until a few weeks from now, right after Paul van Dyk's cleansing closing party. For the opening, however, Crobar-veteran Victor Calderone and DJ Vibe will be the DJs de la nuit… going to show that revamped décor doesn't mean a revamped line-up.  In fact, Perez assures us that, “Dance music fans will have their weekend Mecca for all things electronic,” with Crobar regulars Danny Tenaglia, Tiesto, Roger Sanchez, Deep Dish, Pete Tong, and Paul Oakenfold still on board for Mezmor’s new year. 

But much like the Colonel's original theatrical mission, Studio Mezmor will be more than just the standard B&T fare, with the option to host art exhibits, fashion shows and film and video shoots.  Marketing Coordinator Alex Orlovsky gleefully bragged that the Mezmor will even have the ability to hold LIVE ROCK CONCERTS.

What?  Rock?  This can’t be.  Could you imagine what would happen to the West Chelsea club district should other bottle-service venues start following the indie trend?

Let’s indulge this fantasy, shall we:

(1) Bottle-serviced B&T will be displaced and forced to patronize clubs closer to home (Blagio and DNA, get ready).

(2) Crobar's masses will actually embrace the rock-centric line-ups, since sleeveless shirts, tight pants and over-gelled hair will still be in compliance with the dress code, or

(3) Waifish hipsters and juice freaks will finally go head-to-head in a battle royale for Manhattan. I can already see the American Apparel and Armani Exchange flying.

Well, maybe not yet. 

We'll see what it takes to finally get the desired LES/BK crowd to trek over to 27th Street from their cozy brick basement bars. My money's on free PBRs, knitting, pants-optional shuttle buses, and marshmallow wrestling.  Everybody loves marshmallows.

See Crobar/Mezmor's press release below:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Studio Mezmor: A Classic Re-Imagining of New York’s Big Room

After a successful three years as New York City’s #1 super-club, the Chelsea nightlife institution at 530 W. 28th Street is reborn as Studio Mezmor. Saturday, February 17th will be a grand launch party featuring Victor Calderone and DJ Vibe.

The new name is a tip of the hat to the building’s original tenant, Colonel Francis Messmore, whose manufacturing firm designed immense theater props, movie sets, and animatronic dinosaurs in the massive warehouse space. The larger-than-life theatrics continue at Studio Mezmor, which will be the premier event space for a wide variety of entertainment needs. Big-room clubbing, private events on a grand scale, film and video shoots, live concerts, art gallery events, and fashion shows, all will coexist under one very big roof.

The venue has undergone a re-imagining, with improvements to the sound, video, and lighting. The main room’s architecture is 10,000 square feet of column free, gritty dance floor, with 35 foot ceilings and amazing sightlines. The 2nd floor Mezzanine, ground level VIP, and front room have all been designed into lush VIP bottle areas, providing intimate space for upscale guests to explore.

Dance music fans will have their weekend Mecca for all things electronic. The owners have created a mission statement dedicated to quality music, exceptional customer service, and multi-sensory entertainment for a sexy, big room experience that is unique
in New York City. “We are the New York home to the world’s best DJs and parties,” says Music Director and nightclub industry vet Eric Ortense. “We’ve got DJs Danny Tenaglia, Tiesto, Victor Calderone, Roger Sanchez, Deep Dish, Pete Tong and Paul Oakenfold, all under one roof. Hands down, we are the undisputed heavyweight champion of NYC nightlife.”